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10 tips for dealing with rage, fear and anxiety about your allergies

First of all, you are not alone. The first thing you need to do, if you have a diagnosis for a serious life threatening allergy is to arm yourself with all the information you can. Get the best help, get tests done, see a specialist. Easier said than done I know, but don’t give up, if you are not happy with the advice you’ve been given keep on searching.

Find out exactly what you need to know to stay safe. Understand it’s OK to feel like this. It’s alright to feel fear, anxiety and anger. Helplessness, hopelessness and a total lost of control. But you get one chance at this life. Don’t let the fear consume you. Right now I’m not the best advert for that myself but I’m working my through the emotional assault. Don’t suffer in silence.

Word cloud courtesy of Worditout

Here are my tips, the things that have helped me.

  1. Speak to people – Tell your friends and family. Do you know anyone with a similar medical condition? I have found recent allergy focused events, including The Anaphylaxis Campaign Conference and Food Matters Live encouraged me to share and talk to my fellow bloggers, parents of allergic kids and people in the allergy community. It was tough at times and I didn’t hold it together as much as I’d hoped but I came away from both events knowing that it had helps, I was making progress just by sharing.
  2. Contact professional organisations – I have also spoken to Allergy UK and The Anaphylaxis Campaign who both have free helplines which you can phone and also loads of advice and resources. They also have local support groups so you may find one local to you which will help you to attend. The Anaphylaxis Campaign also offer one free referral to a counsellor but do be aware, she is busy. I wasn’t able to get an appointment until 2018 but it’s worth considering as it could help you.
  3. Writing about it – this might not work for everyone, but as a writer and blogger, writing about my recent experience, how it makes me feel and how I plan to use these emotions positively is really helping me. I appreciate that it might not work for others but don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. So basically guys, you are my therapy. Whether you like it or not, this blog will be following my journey dealing with this. It’s already helping. And it’s already tough. Bottling it up, my earlier preferred coping mechanism wasn’t working and ultimately you have to deal with emotions and move forward.
  4. Update your Action Plan – One thing I realised after my recent allergic reaction was that my Allergy Action Plan needs updating. It has literally disintegrated with overuse. Having a strict plan and protocol in place can really help you and those who may need to care for you if you have a reaction know what to do. If you don’t have one, write one!
  5. Anger management – Feeling angry isn’t an emotion I’m used to dealing with. I’m far less tolerant and quick to rise, where before I rarely felt anger. It’s almost like a rage building in me Taming a Powerful Emotion by Gary Chapman
  6. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)– If you think counselling might help you to deal with fear and anxiety then CBT is probably the most useful kind of treatment available. There are loads of organisations who can help, from the NHS, Mind and private counsellors. Research what’s available and find a solution that works for you.
  7. Health Minds referral scheme – you can self refer yourself for counselling using the NHS Healthy Minds Self Referral scheme. I have already had the initial assessment and have my first session scheduled for next week. I already feel calmer after just having organised this. The first assessment was gruelling enough and I know this will be tough, but I really think it will help me to talk about how I feel with a neutral person, someone who does not know me and is qualified to help me work through this and find ways of coping with how I’m feeling. This is the most convenient solution for me at the moment because they arrange a phone call with you on a weekly basis at a time convenient to you, which is easier to fit into my life at the moment.
  8. I am, I am, I am by Maggie O'Farrell
    I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell
  9. I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell – this book is beautifully written and covers Maggie’s memoirs; seventeen brushes with death. This may sound macabre and something you definitely shouldn’t be reading when faced with your own near death experiences, but I challenge you. You will finish reading this feeling newly conscious, and determined to make every heart beat count. The final chapter recounts an experience when Maggie’s own daughter has an anaphylactic attack and has to be rushed to hospital. Read this book, if you have allergies or are a mother of allergic kids – I am, I am, I am, by Maggie O’Farrell – it will help you.
  10. Run, Run, Run – Again this might not be for everyone but the sentiment is the same. Find something that you can do that completely takes you out of how you’re feeling. Something that clears your mind. This is running for me. I’m running my brain back to normal. Well maybe not normal, but back to stable. This could be something creative, fundraising, volunteer for a local charity. Anything that gives you new perspective. The latter being something I may look into when I can find more time. Giving something back can really help you feel your worth in society, because you are worth so much.
  11. Wear your Medicalert bracelet – This is really important. In my recent allergic reaction I was unconscious and couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. I had been wearing my Medicalert bracelet but when the reaction took place, that morning I had slipped it into my purse because it was irritating the eczema on my wrist. No one knew this and I was told that the paramedics were searching or one. It has made my realise I need to have more than one option of how to wear mine. I have a necklace too but need to find something softer for when my skin is sensitive. Writing this I realise I have not resolved this one yet!

I hope this helps. It’s not an exhaustive list and I may add to it as I think of other things. But as you can see, there are so many practical steps you take to help you cope.

One thing I am doing a lot of is sleeping. Emotions are exhausting. Be kind to yourself. Let your mind and body heal. Stay safe allergy warriors. Be prepared, never take risks and always, always carry your adrenaline injectors #takethekit

I will leave you with this video. If you know someone with anaphylaxis who does not carry their adrenaline, or even worse, has not been prescribed any, ask them to watch this short but very moving video

Word cloud courtesy of Worditout

nb>If you feel really depressed or have any thoughts that make you really scared, don’t know what to do and just need to speak to someone any time of day, call the Samaritans 116 123 from any phone any time of day or night. Someone will speak to you and just the act of talking could help.

talkhealth Blog

What anaphylaxis feels like and how to live with the fear

I could probably write a whole book about this and maybe I will, but for now this is more about a kind of therapy for me. In September I ate out in a cafe in America and had the worst allergic reaction of my life.

Anaphylaxis - Fear of using auto-injector
Anaphylaxis, Anger and Fear

I often joke about it when anyone asks me, “When was the last time you had a reaction?”
I’ll say something like, “A few years ago, I’m due another one!” and try to laugh it off.

Because that’s how I cope with it.
I have to live with it so I kind of ignore it. I never stop being vigilant but I always think that nothing bad will actually happen to me.

Well this time it did.

My previous reactions have been terrifying.
They’ve been painful.
I’ve felt scared and fought for my breath and wondered if this is the time. If this is the reaction that will get me.

But I’ve never had a reaction which came so suddenly and out of the blue.
One that left me with literally only minutes to react.
An attack which floored me completely.
Left me unconscious and meant my friends, who I owe so much to, had to take over and get me the help I needed.

I am so very very grateful that they were able to get to me and phone for help.
I did try to but after administering two adenaline injectors I knew I was passing out.
I knew I had moments left. Nothing was helping. Inhalers, antihistmines… nothing made any different.

The last conscious thing I did was send a whatsapp message to my friends. We had a chat group to help us meet up while we were away. And I wrote these few words.

“Help me. I’m having an allergic reaction…”

As I sent this message I had the sense to prop my door open and I don’t remember much after that. I had managed to crawl to the bed, to the hotel room phone, but I was phoning the wrong number. The UK emergency number.

Nothing prepares you for the crippling fear of knowing you might be dying.

And that, my friends, is as far as I’ll go on this subject for now.
Because I can’t talk about this yet to anyone with out breaking down in tears. Writing about it is strangely calming. I can delete, rewrite, think and understand how I’m feeling. Faced with another human and I just get so emotional.

I’m slowly pulling together interviews with all the people involved so I can make sense of what happened and learn from it.

I have lots of upbeat, happy, helpful posts planned too which have nothing to do with allergic reactions, but for now you’ll have to join me in my therapy. I think writing about this is going to help me recover, come to terms with it and move on.

And if it helps anyone else who has had a similar reaction and feels fear, anger and rage like I am, you can work through this with me.

I’m hoping to find a therapist and some counselling as well as reading about anger management. Talking and writing have always helped me so this will be key to my future health and well-being. Don’t bottle it up. Talk about it. Tell people how you are feeling. Don’t suffer in silence like I’ve been doing. You don’t have to do this alone.

Special thanks to Hazel and Rebecca who both helped me to realise I need to get some help this week. Angels.

talkhealth Blog

Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams – Reuters


Free Malaysia Today
Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams
Reuters
(Reuters Health) – Many people with eczema, a common skin disease, may avoid creams and ointments that can help ease symptoms like itching and inflammation because they're afraid to try topical corticosteroids, a recent study suggests. Eczema, also …
Steroid Phobia Keeps Eczema Patients Scratching (Reuters HealthMedPage Today

all 2 news articles »

eczema – Google News

Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams – Reuters


Free Malaysia Today
Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams
Reuters
(Reuters Health) – Many people with eczema, a common skin disease, may avoid creams and ointments that can help ease symptoms like itching and inflammation because they're afraid to try topical corticosteroids, a recent study suggests. Eczema, also …
Steroid Phobia Keeps Eczema Patients Scratching (Reuters HealthMedPage Today

all 2 news articles »

eczema – Google News

Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams – Reuters


Free Malaysia Today
Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams
Reuters
(Reuters Health) – Many people with eczema, a common skin disease, may avoid creams and ointments that can help ease symptoms like itching and inflammation because they're afraid to try topical corticosteroids, a recent study suggests. Eczema, also …
Steroid Phobia Keeps Eczema Patients Scratching (Reuters HealthMedPage Today

all 2 news articles »

eczema – Google News

Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams – Reuters

Fear keeps many eczema patients from using steroid creams
Reuters
(Reuters Health) – Many people with eczema, a common skin disease, may avoid creams and ointments that can help ease symptoms like itching and inflammation because they're afraid to try topical corticosteroids, a recent study suggests. Eczema, also …

and more »

eczema – Google News